This photo is just for those of you who laughed at me every time I visited “Bath and Body Works”, and left with a bag full of multiple mini hand sanitizers and liquid soap. Now, I wish I could tell you that I possessed powers beyond our earthly given ones, like the ability to foresee a surreal apocalypse in a form of Coronavirus which causes a complete and utter stupidity of insane shopping spree for hand sanitizer and toilet paper, but unfortunately that’s not the case – I’m just your regular clean fanatic. So I always have a good supply of that.
So, yes I currently have some negotiating power as I’m certain I can barter a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes for one of these tiny little bottles of hand sanitizer.
I dared to venture out of the house today. Just to prove that I can be brave and stupid too. But I decided it’s either that or die out of thirst. So a trip to the Supermarket was a calculated risk. It was a little strange being amongst others – everyone seemed rushed, worried and very serious. No smiles, no eye contact and the occasional “Hi! How are you doing?” phrase by the check out workers sounded awkward and withdrawn. It reminded me of one of Erich Maria Remark’s books about this group of wealthy strangers secluded in a luxurious resorts in the Alps in Switzerland and all of them were destined and waiting for the end to come as they all had terminal diseases. Dark, right?
I subconsciously tried not to breathe in as if that was going to help. I was also avoiding touching all unnecessary surfaces. Well, how do you buy stuff without touching it?! Gelson’s had a bit more visitors than usually but not really a crowd. There was a specifically designated and marked by ropes place to line up for check out. Since I was the only one there, I skipped the marked territory and went straight next to the cashier. “Miss, there is a line!”, I was immediately scolded by the cashier. “It’s just me! I’m staying right here!”, I abruptly yelled at her. Ok, Desi! Not my usual charming self, I see. Oh, how much I’ve missed yelling at people in person! I feel so alive!! “I’ve survived communism, girlie! You don’t tell me where to stand!”, I wanted to shout that back at her but apparently my previous statement and tone had sufficiently scared her off. Now she’s carefully scanning my curated items and giving me the most artificial smile I’ve ever seen. Normally, I would care when someone thinks I’m a bitch but these are extraordinary circumstances, so I forgive myself.
I hurry out of the store and dump all bags in the trunk of my car. After a quick shower with my strategically placed hand sanitizer, I jump behind the wheel and head out to my next destination – Supermarket # 2 – Sprouts. More water – the 2 large limit would not suffice. And they only had 6 large Evian bottles left. I also need protein powder! Lots of it. Because my pursuit of fitness and desire to conquer my best body ever continues. Don’t ask how but I manage to continue my 2 hr a day heavy lifting schedule. I have connections, ok?! And plenty of hand sanitizer as a bargaining tool, remember? I can buy anything.
Sprouts’ scene was pitiful! Just sad! Very few people and when a lady walking in front of me slightly coughed, I actually ducked. It was the most ridiculous reflux, I actually ducked so low that I almost hit the ground. Not sure how that helps to avoid contracting a virus but I admired my glorious attempt. Normally, this action pose would have received a good laugh from the innocent bystanders but in this situation, I wouldn’t be surprised if I get an applause.
Ok, I’ve sufficiently browsed the dangerous outside world. Time to go home. It’s movie night!!
Stay safe, everyone!!