An ode to a feeling…

So life goes on, right?! Regardless of the difficulties or the painful situations you endure and you feel as time has stopped or it should, life keeps on going as the countdown is active. And sometimes those painful and time consuming events linger on our mind and stick to our brains for a while. We obsess over a situation, we analyze it, we dissect every word that was uttered and every look given only to end up where we started – Without a change in the actual situation. So if we know that that’s the case and thinking and obsessing over something does not give a meaningful resolution or changes the outcome to something we desired, why do we do it? Why go through the turmoils of psychological and emotional trauma when we know it changes nothing?

They say whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger but does it? Or does it actually fuck you up a bit as the self imposed emotional rollercoaster is lengthy and makes you sick on every turn? If we had the ability to turn on and off our feelings when we want to, would that affect our character at all and would we become all walking softies as we wouldn’t have the experience and emotional maturity of going through challenges? And if we skip forward through the unpleasant feelings, would we have the ability to appreciate the beautiful ones as now we’re missing the point of comparison? How do we gain perspective if we don’t go through it all?

And for those of us who internalize everything and build walls at first sign of a threat only to guard and protect our souls, do we end up better or worse? We’re perceived to be tougher but are we? Or is shutting down a sign of a hidden weakness that tells the world “Fuck off, I can’t deal with this right now!”? Because regardless of how you handle problems, crying, kicking and screaming or silently stoic and visually unemotional, we all end up at the same place: time eventually cures it all as we either forget or other shit becomes imminent so the old is just replaced by the new.

Then what is a good measurement of emotional strength? Is it the time that it takes you to get over a difficult situation or is it the exhibited behaviors while going through it?

And if the rollercoaster makes our stomach sick, why do we get on it over and over again?

Another plane, another city and me killing some time with some thoughts…



About Desi Stark

All luxury beauty and lifestyle with a sprinkle of the occasional random thought and some life stories.
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