Another beautiful creation by La Prairie – the new and improved powder foundation. Unfortunately, “beautiful” only applies to the packaging and the price tag and I assume 43% of it probably went into the packaging. Gorgeous metal, sturdy casing with a meticulously crafted double mirror with two completely useless sponge looking applicators and in the midst of it nestled a prominent display of the actual product, embossed with the “La Prairie” logo as a constant reminder that you are boujie and you’re worth it. The product is infused with a patented caviar technology to deliver not only a significant coverage of imperfections when plastered all over your face but also anti aging qualities that once again, promise idiots like me to hope and dream that the $220 pomade will magically turn you into Cindy Crawford 20 years ago.
I’m applying this thing all over my face and yes, the scent is putting me into a delirious coma and it feels absolutely amazing with its softness and luxurious overall touch and I almost hear Luciano Pavarotti serenading in his tenor greatness and birds are chirping and the sky is blue and the world is beautiful…and then I look closely in the mirror and Oh…My…God…, I look like a freaking clown!!! The powder is so thick on my skin as if I’ve poured flour all over. Actually, flour would have been better looking as this thing is patchy, separated and just sitting on top of my skin and yet it looks as if it’s slightly moving with every head turn. I hope it’s not windy outside! Ok, I desperately need some sort of spatula now to scrape it off…After what it seemed like an eternity of blending, smudging and bouncing all available tools on my face from my vanity, I manage to remove about $37 worth of product only to accomplish a semi decent look or at least find my face again. I’m due to be on the road in 14 min and I already start getting warning texts of my driver “arriving soon”. I throw on my previously selected outfit, perfume, heels and out the door I go.
I reply to a few emails, take a few calls to utilize the 45 min ride and arrive at my destination where a room full of people are to greet me soon. “Looking very nice today, Ms. Stark. Have a great day!”, the driver utters while opening the door for me. Ok, I get these all the time so it shouldn’t shock me this time but I definitely hear the sarcasm in his voice… A quick trip to the ladies room before my meeting…yes, my fear is confirmed. My face looks shiny, almost wet in a very seductive kind of way as if I’ve just engaged in a very naughty activity on the back seat of a Navigator. Yes, my skin is glowing, glossy and smooth just like after a satisfying and intensely passionate all nighter with my man and at least 6 orgasms. Not the look I was going for while discussing Cost of Funds, expense reduction and achieving budget goals.
A note from the writer: “Dear La Prairie, what were you thinking?!”