“No, you’re making them too round and I want them square!”, I’m trying to be as gentle as possible while saying this to her but she still looks at me with a bit of annoyance and hurt ego. She momentarily goes back to take corrective measures and a minute later looks up at me seeking approval. “Ok, so now they’re too square; you have to round the edges a bit. Let me show you!”, now I’m a bit annoyed as I have no patience for slow or stupid. So I may as well do it myself. I go to work and now everyone is staring at me as I really look like someone who’s not only not a professional manicurist but also has never done her own nails before. After the quick demo I look up at her and she is still staring at me in dismay but I can clearly see a bit of hatred in her eyes and considering the proximity to sharp objects, I pull back a bit. She obediently goes back to work but I can feel that Beverly Hills attitude in her mannerism although my Hermès bag is casually lounging on the chair next to me and costs as much as her annual salary. She’s not impressed. You go, girl!!! Ok, now I’ve poked a nerve, provoked the competitive spirit and inspired her to do better. Mission accomplished.
Yes, I’ve taken the hour to visit a nail salon. See, I have nails that although pretty nice with large and shapely nail beds, require regular change of color as they grow fast and I would never go gel or acrylic or anything fake for that matter. Now, I’m one of those girls that actually hates all the pampering like the spa, facials or any kind of beauty salon. I would only have a massage if I really need one, like I can’t move a body part or there is sharp stabbing pain in my neck. Yes, I hate all of the normal things that most women and some men find relaxing and dedicate the time to enjoy. I find these activities irritating, too long and a complete waste of my time. Simply said, I cannot last the duration nor I can ever relax as I feel they all have the opposite affect on me. Plus, contrary to popular belief, I’m not high-maintenance although yes, I look the opposite. I know, I’m weird that way. Unfortunately, my job requires me to present well or I just care and since I’m very animated when speaking due to an abundance of hand gestures, and my profession is actually speaking to people, having my nails done is not something I can avoid. Ok, ok, you got me. There is also a dinner with a certain handsome, perfect someone tonight and although I’m suspecting he already likes what he sees when I’m around, I have every intention of maintaining the illusion of perfection. And I can’t let him have better looking hands than me.
After disapproving of the regular salon lotion and opting for a simple oil, I allow her to move forward with the traditional light hand massage. Now I’m actually cringing as she’s totally doing it wrong and I feel nothing. But I’m hesitant to say anything because that would have been the third criticism in 20 minutes. The 2nd one happened when I pulled my own bottle of nail polish although the salon provides about 200 variations already. That really hurt her feelings. Since my hands are literally in her hands, I once again pull back a bit.
I recently discovered a new brand of nail polish – Smith & Cult and it’s fabulous. That’s the kind I brought in. It has an intense shine but also lasts without chipping longer than anything else I’ve tried. Today I brought a color called “Mail order bride” – a very light soft pink. I may have bought just for the name as it made me laugh. I have another color called “Plastic beach” and another in a shade “Psycho candy”. The names are just a marketing genius: so clever.
If you’re into keeping your nails natural, try Smith & Cult. Yes, it’s double the price of any other quality brand but sometimes you get what you pay for.