Add to calendar: “Get a life!”

I feel like a prisoner…not so much in my own house as I’ve been lounging around second day in a row now but more in my own mind. I’m developing a light case of FOMO (fear of missing out), work wise of course. I know most people have it when it comes to their social life. Yeah, I could care less about that. I only feel it when I’m not given the ability to help or be useful. Because I come truly alive when I’m needed and there are problems to be solved. Any of you out there who thrive in an intense, stressful environment, you get it. I am sure the best shrinks would agree when I say that it has to do with my upbringing but I don’t hesitate, panic or flinch in a stressful environment, I’m happy! I’m the person who you want next to you in a crisis, like a bank robbery or a wardrobe malfunction. I have to be needed in order to be happy or come close to being content. But it’s a catch 22 because that way, I can never be happy or content, ever! Because, there is always “ok, what’s next?”. The guilt is building by the minute now as I’m not fully capable of helping my team and anxiety compiles just by the thought of all the morons out there taking care of business instead of me. There is that control obsession again…I’m also progressively getting pissed off. Yes, I don’t whine, cry or moan when sick or incapacitated in any way, I get pissed off. So probably best that I’m isolated from the world today…

I think I need to get a life…I’ll put that on my calendar to strategize over…when I get over this stupid cold.

 

About Desi Stark

All luxury beauty and lifestyle with a sprinkle of the occasional random thought and some life stories.
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