Confessions Of A Perfectionist…

The beautiful thing about being a perfectionist is that everyone around you benefits more than you do. How beautiful for them!! Yes, when in that mode, a perfectionist will deliver at 100% for what could be perceived an indefinite time at a pace that most people consider warped speed and with a quality of execution so unmeasurably pristine that is almost intimidating.

The curse of a perfectionist is that, he or she will deliver either at 100% or not at all. In other words, if they choose to, they will execute perfectly or if they choose to, will stand absolutely still. There is no middle level or balance. Most people perform at about 20-60% with extreme volatility day over day and sometimes even hour over hour. Perfectionist, when in their “perfect” mode will not eat, sleep, rest or find piece until a task is achieved. On the flip side, when in their “down” mode, they will just send it all to Hell and take a big nap.

Yes, by now it’s all clear that I, not so proudly proclaim, that I am defined as a pure breed perfectionist. Probably, the extreme version as well. And here I find myself into entering my 3rd consecutive year in my “perfect” mode. And I keep on wondering when would be time for my “down” mode’s ugly face to appear and take over. That dreadful, disgusting creature that just jumps out of the dark and sneaks out of the abyss and declares monopoly over my mind and body. I’ve analyzed myself to a point that I hated my thoughts, I’ve tried to manipulate my psyche and many times successfully tricked it into having dominance over that Beast but I always fear and wait in disdain the day that he will appear again. Yes, boredom is my enemy and is what invites the Beast out for a dance or in my case a big nap. And yes, unfortunately I get bored very easily, predominantly when surrounded by not interesting people or if I’m not challenged enough. So my brain will decline to entertain anything mandane or slow moving. Yakes! Now just writing about it, makes me pity myself a bit!

Who needs balance anyway? Life is a big sprint, not a marathon, right?!

About Desi Stark

All luxury beauty and lifestyle with a sprinkle of the occasional random thought and some life stories.
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