The snow flakes are falling slowly and dancing around picked up by the freezing cold wind, taking leisure in their time before they hit the ground and twirling in a beautiful and playful dance, some of them annoyingly getting in my eyes and on my forehead. My right hand is somewhat numb from the cold but I persistently continue to ignore it. I shouldn’t think about him at all at this point as I’ve spent the better part of the day in serious discussions about the future of Business Banking, the appropriate goals for my California team and overall very ambitious and almost unattainable targets and behavioral changes I need to accomplish to meet expectations. The thoughts are not heavy and my brain is occupied by the hundreds of strategies and scenarios and it’s doing its usual by analyzing the potential outcomes by comparing patterns. Hundreds per seconds…yeah, it’s doing it’s thing and I normally wouldn’t want to disturb it with something so trivial as some random dude who keeps on coming in and out of my life. But I can’t help it. I need my entertainment AKA the self inflicted dosage of torture for the day: he’s gorgeous! He’s the most handsome guy I’ve ever been in contact with and I want him. Yeah, I visualize him and I want him. And then I immediately start the usual comparison: why am I so good in hitting the impossible in business but not in my personal relationships? My brain can calculate and solve the most impossible tasks given to me in business but It really sucks when it comes to providing a resolution when it comes to love. Does it get tangled up in emotions and holts or am I just not trained in applying the same principles in personal life as I do in business?
My left hand catches up to the right one and now both of them are frozen. I stand there a minute more in hopes that the cold would have the same affect on those parts of my brain occupied by his image and freeze them but without any success. Ok, it’s time to go back in…