The speed of life…

“What a week!”, I was thinking while downshifting the souped-up beast I was driving. The engine roared aggressively then zapped a bit; I stepped on the gas pedal somewhat angrily then released it, downshifted again while holding on tightly to the wheel so I can slide into the curve and spun out of control. It felt almost like dancing but dangerous and not as elegant. You’d think I would be scared but I felt an unnatural calm. I was Exhilarated to a point that I wanted to do it again…and again. See, a day on the race track, unlike in life, gives you the speedy version of daily events  – the highs, the lows, the intent to control something that sometimes cannot be controlled regardless of how skillful you are, the fear of the unknown, the adrenaline produced in an intense situation…all these emotions that usually stretch out over months and years in life are condensed and compressed into minutes and seconds on the race track. I know, the analogy is a little cheap but for people like me, who are very impatient and most of the time move at a lightning pace when they choose to in life, the race track is just a quick fix to learn from and slow down in life. If you had a choice to fast forward through a turmilous and/or a depressing situation that takes months or years to recover from in life, wouldn’t you want to do it? I know what you may say: we must learn from our experiences so we have to suffer through them. That’s bull shit. It may have been the case when we were younger, yes, those lessons were valuable. But how many times do you need to suffer through miserable times just so you can learn? How many more men or women and heartbreaking relationships can you get over? If you didn’t learn the first time, chances are, you will continue repeating your mistakes as they come in disguised in a variety of outfits and merchandised with different accessories so they appear different although the same, so you may as well fast forward through them, no?

Someone recently asked me if I meditate to release the stress and balance myself. I don’t do balance. I’m a perfectionist. And the issue with perfectionists like me – we either do things at 100% or not at all. So yes, I either move at 9,000 rpm or I’m still. It actually sucks but I’ve learned to embrace this character feature of mine. Listen, I know meditation works for a lot of people but it just doesn’t do the trick for me. Slowing down (meditating) in order to jump back in life and handle it all is not the answer for me. It’s the other way around, I need to go faster for a bit and then slow down (hence the car race). Doesn’t that make more sense? Well, it does for me…

I slowly stepped out of the car looking over at my brave competitor’s car. My friend jumped out (we’ll call him Mr. G6 as I’d rather not reveal his real name) and grinned. “I’m hungry. Let’s get back on the plane and go to lunch now, deal?”. May be after I can go check out that Prada bag I saw on line…Prada and a friend…Sometimes that’s all you need in life on a Sunday, isn’t it?

About Desi Stark

All luxury beauty and lifestyle with a sprinkle of the occasional random thought and some life stories.
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