Just a day in the life of…

Have you ever had one of those shitty days that you feel like you want to crawl out of your skin and set yourself on fire? And then in a pathetic desperation you attempt to console yourself by quietly whispering under your nose “This is just one day, Desi. Everything will be ok” but by the third time you repeated this, you even stop believing your own bull shit? And the tears are trying to come out but even though you’re alone at your house you still manage to maintain some miraculous level of dignity and pride and a little voice in your head is reminding you of your stoic demeanor and the rule against crying…and then you automatically burst into laughter because you know how ridiculous the situation is? Yeah, this is me today…

So Hello 2019 and fuck you very much! You have not been so kind to me at all!!! The minute it turned into a new year, everything went into the shitter. Seriously, what the Hell happened?! Things were going so well…ok, may be I’m exaggerating a bit for a dramatic affect here or just so I can maintain sanity but it’s somewhat true…

What are the basic pillars of our lives? It doesn’t matter how you spin it, there are three main things that we chase and we strive for: a good home, a good job, a good relationship. The trick is though to have all three at the same time. I can honestly say that I’ve never had all three perfectly aligning at the same time. Have you had them all? Or may be I’m looking at it the wrong way. May be, not everything has to be perfect and in fact it’s impossible to have them all perfectly aligned at the same time because knowing myself, I’d get very bored and send one of them to Hell somehow. Does that mean I’ve been sabotaging one just so I entertain myself?

Can someone please, lecture me on why my standards are always so up high in the sky? I will never have it all, will I?  But then again, you can’t have it all when you don’t know what you truly want…

About Desi Stark

All beauty and fashion with a sprinkle of the occasional random thought and some life stories. If you care...
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